Boundaries are Basic for an Empowered Adult
Boundaries are used in order to avoid saying "yes" when you mean "no," as a child might do to avoid a parent's displeasure, or to avoid becoming resentful at being asked at all-this is the defiant teen.
We each appear to have one of these two basic attachment styles from a young age-
over compliant or defiant. When I learned to say "I'm willing to ___ but I'm not willing to ___, and if __ continues I'll ___ to take care of myself, since I can't control you" my life changed. This is respectful and clear. I felt relieved that I could finally be true to myself as an adult. Some people might feel hurt or annoyed. The response: "I'm sorry you feel hurt but I have to be true to myself here." Wow. Empowered. Not disempowered or trying to have power. Power from within!